According to Pridemore, Abuse is Not an Excuse

15 Mar

So I am still on about this Glenn Grothman bill that I posted about last week.  Basically, Senator Grothman proposed a bill that essentially equated single parenthood with abuse and neglect.  I did not, however, give the necessary attention to the bill’s co-sponsor, Representative Don Pridemore, who was reported mid-firestorm as saying that he believes that even in abusive relationships there are options better than divorce.  In a local broadcast from Wisconsin, Pridemore said women should just “re-find those reasons and get back to why they got married in the first place.”  Good idea, Pridemore.  Let’s try and convince women to stay with their abusers for the benefit of the child because said abuser never turns his attention towards the children.   Therefore, I thought maybe I would just present some information about the prevalence of abuse against women in the United States.  I mean, since, as Grothman insists in an interview with Alan Colmes, women are choosing to be single parents and all in order to take advantage of government payouts (and, presumably, having nothing to go with what they might face in the home), I thought some meager statistics about domestic violence might be useful.  I promptly proceeded to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention website. There I found the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS).  Here are some of the “highlights” of the 2010 survey:*

– 1.3 million women were raped during the year preceding the survey

– 51.1% of female rape victims reported being raped by an intimate partner and 40.8% by an acquaintance

– 1 in 4 women have been the victim of severe violence by an intimate partner

– 81% of women who experienced rape, stalking or physical violence by an intimate partner reported significant short or long term impacts related to the violence experienced in this relationship such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms and injury

I don’t know about you but if I left an intimate partner because said intimate partner was raping, stalking, or beating me I would take my children with me.  I would not think to myself, “hey, why don’t I think back to the good times before I was afraid for my safety and that of my children?  After all, being in a two-parent household with an abuser is way better for my children than raising them alone.”    I mean, after all, even though women can take care of a family in some situations, men are the disciplinarians in the household and without them “kids tend to go astray.”**  Nothing like getting your kids back in-line with some good old fashioned discipline from your favorite wife-beater!  According to an article published by the University of Michigan News Service, it has been shown that exposure to their mother’s physical or emotional abuse was shown to cause significant emotional and behavioral problems in children as young as preschool age.   The article discussed a book edited by Sandra Graham-Berman and Alytia Levendosky:

“Children of battered women showed higher rates of sadness, depression, worry and frustration than peers from nonviolent homes. Their emotional responses to events were less appropriate, and they were more likely to express anger and frustration by hitting, biting or slapping others, even when unprovoked. They were also found to verbally abuse their peers, by insulting them and calling them names, more than did children from nonviolent families.”

So yes, Pridemore, let’s get those families back together for the sake of the children!  What goes on in the home stays in the home, right?  Except, of course, if that home is run by a single mother.

*Since Grothman and Pridemore decided to word this bill in such a way as to victimize single women, I am only providing statistics and information for domestic violence against women.  Domestic violence against men is also a problem, but has not been as widely reported for, off the top of my head, at least two reasons: (1) it simply happens less often and (2) because of our cultural and societal tendency to think of men as the stronger and dominant gender, there is probably (unfortunately) an additional amount of shame felt on the part of the male victim in a violent, heterosexual relationship.

**The quotes for this section were taken from a news report from WTMJ’s coverage from this past Friday (can’t figure out how to get the video in my blog…my tech-brain is a work-in-progress)

3 Responses to “According to Pridemore, Abuse is Not an Excuse”

  1. Rog March 16, 2012 at 12:45 pm #

    A million rapes in 2009? That is a very high number. FBI statistics for the crime category “forcible rape” report 88,097 forcible rapes in 2009: a greater than 10-fold difference from the CDC survey cited in your post. While I accept that idea that rapes are under-reported, I doubt they are underreported to the extent that less than 10% of rapes are ever reported to law enforcement. Do you have some thoughts in regards to this discrepancy in statistics?

    • FranklyRebekah March 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm #

      Hey Rog! Thanks for the question. I decided to write another post in an attempt to address what you brought up. Let me know what you think.


  1. A Word on Statistical Inconsistencies « franklyrebekah - March 16, 2012

    […] response to my post According to Pridemore, Abuse is Not an Excuse, I received the following comment from a reader named “Rog”: A million rapes in 2009? […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: