Dear Senator Kyl, Please Stop.

13 Sep

So this is something I (surprise!) find annoying.  Annoying being an understatement, as it usually is, but I am trying this new thing that I call toning down my language.  I think that maybe if I explain things and think about things in a less anger-inducing way then maybe I will go through life being less, well, angry about things I have no control over.  Like the words that spew out of the mouth of Senator Jon Kyl.  (By the way, if ever life is getting you down, and the idiocy of our politicians seems too much to handle, please visit this sketch by the wonderful, the hilarious, Stephen Colbert and everything will regain a sense of normalcy, if only for a short time.) Most recently, the esteemed Senator from Arizona (poor, poor Arizona) decided to respond to a statement released by the American Embassy in Cairo which, in itself, was a response to understandably negative reactions throughout the Muslim world to an American-made movie that denigrates the Prophet Mohammed.  (Word to the wise:  comparing a very important religious figure to a pedophile is generally neither advisable nor received well.)  The original statement, released hours before an attack in Libya that killed Ambassador Christopher Stevens and 3 other Americans in Benghazi, read as follows:

The Embassy of the United States in Cairo condemns the continuing efforts by misguided individuals to hurt the religious feelings of Muslims – as we condemn efforts to offend believers of all religions. Today, the 11th anniversary of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the United States, Americans are honoring our patriots and those who serve our nation as the fitting response to the enemies of democracy. Respect for religious beliefs is a cornerstone of American democracy. We firmly reject the actions by those who abuse the universal right of free speech to hurt the religious beliefs of others.” (My emboldifying.)

Senator Jon Kyl, along with a lot of other politicians who seem to enjoy ignoring timelines — as in this thing happened, and then this other thing happened afterwards meaning that the first thing that happened could not be construed as an apology for the next thing unless people in the American Embassy in Egypt are actually time travelers in which case, can you guys be my friends? — have issued all kinds of misguided statements.  Mitt Romney said some stupid things.  Jon Kyl, however, probably issued my favorite statement of all (read:  If I ran into him somewhere I would totally push him down a set of stairs and not feel bad about it at all).  Just to be clear, this is a statement made by Jon Kyl criticizing the US Embassy in Egypt for their statement condemning the release of a hateful movie.  Here is the statement:

It’s like the judge telling the woman who got raped, ‘You asked for it because of the way you dressed.’ OK? That’s the same thing. ‘Well America, you should be the ones to apologize, you should have known this would happen, you should have done — what I don’t know — but it’s your fault that it happened.’ You know, for a member of our State Department to put out a statement like that, it had to be cleared by somebody. They don’t just do that in the spur of the moment.

Um, no, Jon Kyl.  Releasing a statement condemning a hate-filled movie is in no way like blaming a woman for her own rape.  You know what’s like blaming a woman for her own rape?  Actually doing that.  Actually blaming a woman for where she was, what she was doing, what she was wearing, how much she was drinking, who she was talking to.  And you know what else Jon Kyle?  That happens a lot.  I think that generally when we make comparisons they should either be (a) accurate or (b) so inaccurate so as to make them funny.  This is neither of those things.  And, seeing as how women are blamed for their own assaults all the time by men and women alike, and that this is very well documented, maybe before you make a ridiculous and inaccurate criticism of a statement that was not vetted through the White House, you should get your statement vetted by your handlers.  Maybe then I wouldn’t think you suck so hard.  I mean, I probably would anyway, but whatever.

Also, while I am on the topic, I would like to propose the following thing.  How about, from now until the end of time, none of us ever compare anything to rape unless it actually was rape in which case you wouldn’t have to compare it at all?  Like, when you say “ugh, I ordered this thing from this place and it was totally overpriced and I feel like I got raped.”  No, you don’t.  You don’t feel like you got raped at all.  Because you know what?  You didn’t get raped.  And probably, if you are comparing price gouging to rape then you have never actually been raped because you wouldn’t trivialize that experience.  So, yea, let’s see if we can make that happen.

Thanks for reading.

One Response to “Dear Senator Kyl, Please Stop.”

  1. creatingcarrie September 13, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

    good god, i love you.

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