The day after I didn’t win the 550 million dollar Power Ball

29 Nov

So last night my boyfriend and I went to two different stores that “felt right” and bought $10 each worth of Power Ball numbers.  Each $10 purchase came with a free set of numbers.  That meant 12 chances in all.  Despite the fact that I was told I would be more likely to either get attacked by a shark or contract a flesh eating bacteria than win this particular Power Ball drawing, I was still fairly convinced I was going to win.  I started thinking about what I would do with the money.  Donations!  Real Estate!  Traveling to all the places!  A new pair of sunglasses since I broke the ones I found last year!  So, so many possibilities.  Needless to say I did not win $550 million.  After the shock wore off I went to sleep.  And now here I sit, at my computer, the day after I didn’t win the 550 million dollar Power Ball and you know what? Despite the huge shock and letdown of last night, I feel basically the same as always.  I will tell you about my morning.

First, I woke up in my normal bed with those comfortable flannel sheets and a $45 Bed, Bath and Beyond comforter that should have been replaced about 2 years ago.  There was no Egyptian silk. There was no expensive leather headboard.  Just the unadorned metal bed frame that I inherited from my sister-in-law in 2005.

Second, I looked down the bed to find my two cats lying there, sleeping.  The same old striped cats I’ve had for two years.  No fancy hairless cats.  No trained lion cubs.  Just Clark and Grete, snuggling with the free straw that came with a soda last week that they fell asleep playing with at 4am, approximately 5 hours after I didn’t win the 550 million dollar Power Ball.

Third, I poured myself a cup of coffee from my BRAUN coffee maker with the beans I bought last week.  No special Fair Trade beans flown in specifically for me from a farm in Honduras after paying a more than fair price to the farmer herself.  There was no fancy Italian espresso machine equipped with my very own Barista where my coffee maker used to be.

Fourth, I made myself a piece of toast and I ate it dry.  Dry toast.  No caviar.  No butter directly from the Hudson Valley.  No compote.  Just bread that I toasted too long so it was more like a dry rye-flavored cracker.  Again.

Fifth, I sat down at my computer and started reading the news.  I Googled myself just to make sure that the internet didn’t know something about my 550 million dollar win that I did not.  No such luck.   As usual the only person by my name that came up was the much-cooler-than-me designer of really crazy looking metal jewelry that looks more like torture devices than anything else.   I looked at pictures of lion cubs and thought about what could have been.  I read a depressing article about Courtney Stodden and felt happy I wasn’t her.  Then I started writing this blog post.

The following is what I did not do this morning because I did not win the 550 million dollar Power Ball:

1.  I did not pay off the mortgage on my parent’s house.
2.  I did not pay off all my school loans in full with a little note enclosed that said “if you thought you were going to charge me $20,000 in interest over 10 years you thought wrong.  SUCKERS!”
3.  I did not buy my friend Clayton an apartment complete with a private karate studio like I promised to do if I won the Power Ball.
4.   I did not buy new sunglasses to replace the ones that I found for free at the bar but which cracked in my bag last month.  I will just continue feeling thankful that I have dark brown eyes and therefore am not as sensitive to the sun as my blue or green-eyed brethren.
5.  I did not contact a travel agent to figure out exactly how I could travel to every single place.  Every.  Single.  One.
6.  I did not plan how to take 10 of my closest friends out to a really nice dinner instead of working my bar shift until 4am.
7.  I did not hire someone to write my thesis.

So, I guess today, the day I am still not a multi-millionaire is basically the same as every other day in which I am not a multi-millionaire.  I’m procrastinating, same as always.  I’m drinking too much coffee, same as always.  I’m playing imagination games, same as always.  I’m warm and happy and have all the things I need (except sun glasses) even if they are maybe a little bit rattier than I might ideally like, same as always.  So, I guess it’s not so bad.  Until the next time the Power Ball gets really big.  Next time I am totally going to win.  Next time I will write a blog post called “I totally won the Power Ball” with no content at all except maybe something that looks like this: skdjfblksdfhkhsfd!!!!! because that’s what it looks like in my brain when I get too excited to string words together into a sentence.  Just wait.  It’ll be totally fantastic.

3 Responses to “The day after I didn’t win the 550 million dollar Power Ball”

  1. Debbie Hangemanole November 30, 2012 at 11:22 am #

    Hilarious. I will email you soon, promise!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Imagination Games Gone Sour « franklyrebekah - December 4, 2012

    […] to pass the time.  I play them while I am running.  I play them when I think about winning the 550 million dollar Power Ball.  I play them pretty much all the time.  As I have gotten older, though, I have noticed that my […]

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