As I mentioned in this post, I am going to be leaving for India sometime in the extremely near future. Like, as early as Monday. Right now it is Friday and do you know what I have to do? All of the things.
So as it turns out, working in the food service profession for years and years leaves you with a lot of really awesome tank tops, brightly colored shorts and, of course, a pair of Chucks or two but leaves you with absolutely no “professional clothing.” Do you know what I need, as it turns out? Professional clothing. But here’s the rub. India at this time of year is very hot. Does this mean that I can wear professional clothing that is weather appropriate? Nope. Still have to make sure to get pants. And jackets. I am going to sweat so much and all my clothes are going to smell terrible. I am going to go into a business meeting and they are going to sit me on the far side of the room away from everyone because the smell of my jackets will be so ripe that people will not be able to concentrate. Or at least, that’s how I imagine it happening. Me and my power point presentation on one side of a long wooden table, all the other people on the other side with clothespins clipping their noses shut so no noxious gas (AKA my stench) can enter. I bet by the end of the first week my suit will be able to stand up on its own.
Maybe I am exaggerating but prepare for the worst, you know? Then when I only sort of smell and hopefully I can cover it up with some tasteful perfume it’ll be like a win for me. And everyone around me, honestly.
So today my friend Meredith is taking me shopping for Adult Clothing. Not the XXX-rated kind, if that’s what you’re thinking. Just like, the sort of things you can wear to an office that has more conservative tendencies. So, yea, basically as far from XXX-rated as one can possibly get. I am hoping to buy approximately 4 outfits. Or maybe, like a bunch of mix and match clothing so that I don’t always have to wear the same thing. And then I am also going to bring this really awesome dress that I have that almost goes down to the floor and I will wear it with a tasteful jacket. Tasteful, that’s the name of the game. Tasteful, understated, and neat looking. It’s a good thing I am going to have Meredith with me* because otherwise I will go shopping for neat and tastefully colored clothing in various greys, beiges, whites and blacks and up with like neon purple striped tank tops and some shorts. My entire current wardrobe is in various shades of blindingly bright stripes with some blindingly bright solids thrown in for good measure. I basically always clash. It’s part of my thing. I have cultivated a wardrobe that clashes and blinds people constantly and I love it. LOVE it. It won’t kill me to take a few weeks off of bright, right? Right?!
Anyway, so I have to do that. Also, I have to make some flashcards to learn some things. I have become good at flashcards because last week (the week before?! It all bleeds together!) I made flashcards to learn the entire menu of a crab restaurant I was planning on bartending at. I made 84 flashcards and learned them all, trained one day and didn’t end up taking the job. Partially because I found out this guy drinks there and partially because it simply was not a good fit for me. (Do you like how I have been linking to that one post in almost every single one of my recent posts? Have you noticed?! I’m pushing buttons!) Anyway, I made a lot of flashcards and then I learned them all. I plan on doing that again. Tonight. Which is Friday. Tonight, Friday night, I will sit in my house with a pen and flashcards and write and write and write and then I will watch Nashville and then I will go to bed. And then tomorrow I will get up, lad my super awesome and fun running group on a 6.7 mile run (their longest yet!), go home, shower, learn flashcards, go to a going away picnic for my friend Monica and her family because they are moving (insert sad face here), hang out with my friend Lee during the picnic and maybe for a bit after, and then I will go home and learn flashcards. And read about drought. Uplifting!
Hopefully it will all go well and then I will be in India and I will know all the things and I will look smart and organized and not blindingly bright. And I won’t stink.
Do they have laundry and dry-cleaning services in fancy hotels? Does anyone know? Also, does anyone have a small checkable rolly bag that they don’t mind lending out for a month to someone who is going to India? I promise I will return it. I’ll even bring you back something nice. Like some bangles! If you’re a girl. Or if you are a guy who likes to wear bangles! Bangles are so great. Everyone should wear them.
Okay. That puts an end to the most boring post ever. I promise there will be funny things here at some point soon once the Things that Actually Happen quotient starts rising and the Things I Have to do to Prepare for the Things that Actually Happen quotient declines. Stay tuned.
*Meredith has a very good style sense and although she does wear bright clothing sometimes, she does not ALWAYS wear bright clothing and she will do a superb job of keeping me away from all of the orange stripes that I am sure will be on offer this time of year.
franklyrebekah 
A) CONGRATS!!!!!!!! OMG I am so excited for you!!! Although I have been a hermit I have continued to read yoour blog and this is amazing! B) Yes they have all that laundry stuff, though not self-service. C) I have rolly bags. Yes I do! D) you can totally wear brights. Professional dressing tips I learned from going on 16 interviews in 6 weeks, as someone who does not want to be bothered: Once you find a suit that fits well, get the same suit in 2 colors, like a gray version and a black version; Get all 4 pieces of the suit if you wear skirts (so jacket, pants, skirt, and sheath dress if they have it); get great comfortable shoes that go with it as a pantsuit and a skirt/dress thing); use the top and sweaters or scarves to have variety. So grey suit plus orange stripey shirt? Awesome. I am jealous of people with amazing professional style that is appropriate but authentic; however I always feel like tastefully coordinating seperates is just too much work. I have way too many vets to treat to deal with that s. As you develop your professional style and you may want to move to the more sophisticated coordinating seperates to express your own style, you can still use all those base pieces and build on them. But for worry free busisness travel, coordinating suits!
xox
Sabrina, author of the most boring comment ever.
Thanks Sabrina! ! And your comment was not boring, it was helpful and supportive! And I miss you!! When I get back can we have drinks?! You know what…I am going to just text you. Ha.