It might be cliche to say, but there are those moments in life, be they good or bad or somewhere in between, that sear themselves in your memory. You remember every conversation, every smell, where you were and what you did after. For me, the overturning of Roe v. Wade and the almost 50 years of precedent that was tossed out with it was one of those moments. It was a moment so many of us knew was coming, even before the leak of the Supreme Court draft on the decision. It was a moment those of us who pay particularly close attention to reproductive justice felt was possible for years as we watched TRAP laws go into effect, and clinic doors shut. And still it wasn’t any less shocking: in part because as people we have a hard time imagining the way tragedy will feel, and in part because the knowledge of what would follow the patch-work approach to abortion access was too much to grapple with. At least for me. When that unthinkable decision finally came down, it was like a dam broke and all that horror became our shared reality.
I’ve had a full year to process this nightmare, a full year to figure out my role in fighting back. I read and listen to everything I can. I, as Jessica Valenti suggests in her daily newsletter (which is a must read), talk to someone about abortion almost daily. I have this compulsive need to be a witness to every story pregnant people have the strength to release, opening themselves up to an increasingly hostile country, despite the fact that a majority of Americans – 61%, in fact – believe that people should have access to abortions. That number is continuing to rise, with more and more people believing pregnant folks should have access to abortions later into their pregnancy. On this one year anniversary of the antidemocratic decision made by the Supreme Court, I find myself thinking about abortion and all the ways in which my feelings around it have changed.
There was a point in time where I was not bothered by the belief some held that what we all want is for there to not have to be any abortions, that until that point we have to protect abortion access for everyone. A year after Roe v. Wade was overturned I can definitively say that is a crock of shit. First of all, there’s no reality in which there’s no need for abortions. No matter how universal and affordable access to contraception is, there will always be unplanned, and unwanted, pregnancies. That is simply a fact. And if we live in a society where we believe all people have the right to self determination and bodily autonomy, then we live in a society where people get access to the healthcare they need without shame, no questions asked. Secondly, miscarriages happen. Quite often, actually. Sometimes they happen later in pregnancy. And at that point, doctors do a dilation and curettage (D&C) to remove tissue from inside the uterus. Doctors also perform D&Cs during surgical abortions. The difference between having a miscarriage and an abortion is sometimes, though not always, a difference in treating a wanted versus an unwanted pregnancy. So saying that we find D&Cs acceptable or desirable in the case of a miscarriage and unacceptable or undesirable in the case of a surgical abortion is us assigning an ethical and moral valuation to a healthcare decision that should ideally be made outside the influence of those feelings. There is nothing ethically or morally wrong about choosing to end a pregnancy. And I don’t think we shouldn’t think glowingly about a world existing in which abortions aren’t needed. Abortions are needed. Abortions are a fact of life.
I think people should be able to access abortions at any point during their pregnancy. People who are getting abortions late in their pregnancies are doing so because something traumatic has happened. It is likely that either the fetus has developed a potentially fatal abnormality or the pregnant person is at risk of death if they carry that pregnancy to term. If we truly believe abortion is healthcare, then abortion is healthcare at any and all points in pregnancy. And to me, that means that when we fight for abortion access, we fight for abortion access for every single person, whether they are in the first trimester or the third.
A year in, I don’t believe in compromise on this issue. I will not entertain a conversation with someone who tries to argue the point that abortions need to be legislated by the government. I don’t want to hear about “viability.” Yes, abortion needs to be protected, but that need only exists because the religious right has been permitted to define and lead the conversation for decades. Our entire national debate on this issue has been, and continues to be, carried out on their terms. In the past I think I was less outspoken about this, more interested in not seeming unreasonable. I also think I internalized some of the language because I’ve been steeped in it for so long. But now I realize that the unreasonable position is people thinking they have any right whatsoever to insert their religious or political beliefs into other people’s healthcare decisions. The only unreasonable position is calling yourself “pro-life” when you are forcing people to remain pregnant when they don’t wish to be, or when it is physically, mentally or financially dangerous for them to remain so.
Before this past year, I don’t think I ever truly thought about how accessible I want contraception and abortion to be. Vending machines that dispense the morning after pill? Yes please. Free contraception for everyone? Absolutely. Walk-in abortion services? Sounds great. The safe use of abortion pills being taught in health classes? Don’t threaten me with a good time! I want reproductive healthcare to be simple and inexpensive to access, and I want the government to do nothing more than make sure that those pathways are clear of Christo-facist bullshit.
I also have realized over this past year that we are all currently living in a failing state. I know, I know, it sounds alarmist and ridiculous. But that’s what people said about the overturning of Roe before it happened and look where we are now. (And that’s ignoring what the reproductive rights landscape was before Roe was overturned which, let’s be honest, was a shit show.) We are living in a country where the majority of Americans believe abortion should be legal at least in the first trimester. The number of people who believe it should be legal in the second trimester, though lower than those who believe it should be legal in the first, jumped significantly in the past year. And yet, countless state governments are passing bans and pushing ballot measures that are explicitly against the wishes of the voters. In Ohio, for example, the state government is putting forth a ballot measure to try and increase the percentage of voters needed to amend the state constitution from a simple majority to 60% of voters. Ballot measures such as these are being used by Republican-led state legislatures across the country to keep voters from enshrining the right to an abortion into state constitutions. The GOP knows that abortions are popular even among Republican voters, and they are doing everything in their power to make sure voters don’t get to decide this issue. This is wholly undemocratic, but if they are successful they will take control of more than just access to reproductive healthcare.
There’s more I’m forgetting, I’m sure. It comes in fits and starts. But suffice it to say it has been A YEAR. I’ve cried a lot. I’ve raged. I’ve felt like everything is pointless. And sometimes, I still feel that way. But I also believe that knowledge is power and I will keep learning and will try to share more often and maybe, hopefully, one day we will have more good news that bad.
But in the meantime, fuck the Supreme Court. And fuck the Republican Party.
franklyrebekah 