Tag Archives: pet owners

Some People are Super Weird About Their Dogs

4 Feb

I would like to preface this post by saying that I like dogs just as much as the next gal.  I had this really cute little guy named Buckwheat when I was growing up and I loved him.  Well, I loved him until he got a tumor in his head that was pressing on the personality part of his brain and he subsequently went from loveable and stupid to menacing and growly basically over night.  I guess I still loved him, but I loved him more at arms length than up close.  Anyway, I like dogs.  Dogs are nice.  I have some dogs that I like better than other dogs.  My friend Liz has a really nice dog.  Also, Monica’s dog.  Those are good dogs.  You know what?  I don’t even know why I am talking about dogs because this is actually more a post about dog owners than it is about dogs.  And really only about certain dog owners.  Okay.

So today I was walking to the train to go to my friend Dee’s house to do some school work.  I decided to pop into a cafe and grab a cup of coffee.  When I got about a block away from the cafe this father-daughter duo made a left off of a side street onto 4th Avenue.  The girl was little, probably like 3 years old, and she had a monster cough.  Also, she was talking about how she was cold.  I caught up with them and as I passed them I noticed that the dad was holding something under his jacket.  I figured this something was another child.  Upon closer inspection I came to realize that what he had nestled inside of his coat was a small dog.  That’s weird, right?  I mean, this man had a choice.  He has a cold and cough-y little daughter, and he has a small dog.  He certainly can’t fit both of them in his jacket.  So he thought to himself,

“I am worried about my small dog’s precious little feet and so I am going to allow my daughter to face the elements while I protect this animal that is essentially WEARING A FUR COAT from the wind.”

That seems like someone who maybe should check his priorities to me.  Also, if I were that little girl I would totally hate that dog because it is obvious that her dad loves the dog more than her.  I hope he is putting away money for her future therapy.

And then this other thing I have been seeing a lot of recently.  Strollers for dogs.  That’s right.  Strollers for dogs.  I was walking up 6th Avenue on my way to the library when I saw this woman with this pretty wide blue stroller thing that was taking up way too much of the sidewalk.  Something about the stroller seemed weird to me and then I realized it was because it was less of a traditional stroller and more of a mesh cage on wheels with all these pink squishy pillows inside of it and a dog looking around.  So there are a few things I have to say about this.  Who the hell buys a stroller for their dog?  Also, how did this woman walk down the street, taking herself and her life seriously, while pushing her dog in a stroller like a weirdo?  And finally, I am pretty sure that the point of strollers is so that when you have small children who either can’t walk yet or can’t walk quickly, you can make your life easier by putting them in the stroller and pushing them around while you go about your day.  The point here being that without the stroller, you would either have to carry your child or else walk super slow at kind of an odd angle because you are trying to hold your kid’s hand and your kid is small.  Seems like back pain in the making to me.  But strollers to me don’t look like things that I would particularly enjoy pushing around.  They are kind of big, they sometimes don’t maneuver well, they have to be carried up and down stairs, other people find them annoying especially when they are those obnoxious double-wide things that take up all of the space in the world.  Strollers are not great, but they make a pretty inconvenient thing – doing stuff with a person with short legs and a shorter attention span – easier.  Dogs, though, can walk.  And, actually, they can walk quite quickly.  They basically can walk like, right out of the womb.  They are born, their mom gets the goo off, and then they walk around.  There’s no stopping them!  So why would you make something that is pretty easy – walking around the city with a furry animal that also walks – more difficult by putting said animal in a stroller and then pushing the stroller?  The dog can walk!  The dog probably likes walking!  Why are you pushing it in a stroller?!  Unnecessary.

And then this one other thing that I don’t have a tirade about just a lot of confusion.  So, there is this lady who I see walking her dogs and one of her dogs has this contraption on it that sort of looks like what I imagine a pack mule would wear.  It is bright orange (for easy seeing?) and it has these little pockets on the sides where I assume one can put things.  Only the lady also has a bag with, I would imagine, things in it.  So what is this contraption?  And what is inside of it?  One day I am going to ask her.

So yea.  People are weird about their dogs.   Also, they spend a lot of money on buying their dogs things that the dogs could really care less about.  Basically, the dog wants to chew a bone, eat some snacks, poo, run around, piss on a tree, and smell your crotch or the butt of another dog.  That’s it.  It’s an easy life.  So just let the dog be a dog and stop being weird and acting like the thing can’t walk around on its own.  Also, don’t pull a Leona Helmsley and leave a $12 million trust fund for your dog.

The end.